Whose Attention Are You Seeking While You're Praying?

I had been saved for about a year and a half and I remember being at a youth event where the minister was urging us to pray as hard as we can. I remember yelling and screaming on the ground, crying out to God (at least thats what I thought lol).
After doing this for awhile I remember actually praying (go figure) and hearing God deal with me about how I was only "praying" this hard to get the attention of the man of God. I wanted him to see me and think "Yes, this girl is praying and praying as hard as she can." It's so vain but it was the honest truth. 

Anyways...

While I actually began to pray and hear the voice of God, He then tells me "You are praying this hard in order to get his attention yet he is a mere mortal man. Is it he that will answer your prayer?"

I remember thinking "WOAHHHHHHHH!" Hahahaha. 

No honestly; I laid there feeling like a complete and total fool. I was then able to understand the root of this "performance" type of bondage I was currently a victim of. 

It was back in 2013 in the University of Buffalo. I was minding my business and living my saved life while two ladies (my roommate and her friend) began to question my Christianity and my lifestyle. They told me that there wasn't any power in my prayers (hence this post ) , I prayed too much and didn't have balance in my life, and plenty of other wicked things. I was completely fine with my Christian life because I prayed soooooo much, I knew Jesus and He knew me, I heard the voice of God, and was UNASHAMED! I tell you, nothing could shake me as a newly converted Christian. I wasn't a bit ashamed of the dark past I had but instead, I boasted in the grace of GOD and how He lifted me from the miry clay. I had strict boundaries when it came to males (didn't talk or text after 9:30pm), I didn't go to parties anymore, I prayed and prayed and prayed. I can't even lie about how much I prayed and fasted, I was a prayer warrior! This led me to be extremely confused as to why these ladies were attacking me and saying these hurtful things. However, the depth of all of this is for yet another blogpost lol. Long story short, I found myself trying to outwardly do things to "convince" these ladies that I indeed was a born again Christian. I loved Jesus! How can you not tell? Do I have to praise harder? Do I have to cry in worship? What do I have to do?!?! It all began to make sense...

We don't live to please man but to please God. Once we begin to outwardly do things for the recognition of man, we've lost it. Are you serving because you don't want to let your pastor down or because you want to serve God? Are you lifting your holy hands in  worship unto God because your heart is in submission to Him or because everyone else is doing it and it makes you feel a bit more spiritual? These are honest questions that I'm urging you to ask yourself because if we knew the true motivation behind many things we do all in the name of worship & praise to God, we will be able to soberly evaluate our lives. 

So here I was, 6 months later, now understanding the seed that was planted in my heart without me consciously knowing. Some things that we hear and don't believe, yet has been spoken over us needs to be rebuked in the Mighty name of Jesus because they are seeds! Say it out loud! This isn't a battle that you wage in your mind alone but it needs to be spoken aloud. At that moment, I didn't understand the depth of what was being revealed to me but today, I do. If God is revealing any area of bondage in your life that is hindering you from being authentic in your relationship with Him, renounce it now in the name of Jesus. Let nothing ever come before you and your Holy Father. Take time to pray over any area(s) that God is revealing to you and ask Him to deliver you. 

Let us never get to a place where we are seeking the approval and praise of man over the Lord's. Man's praise may be immediate and before others, but God may take His time and He will lift you up that all may see and He too, is glorified. The way God does things, people have to admit and come to an understanding that this cannot be done by man but only by God. His fingerprints are smudged all over whatever He has done and it. is.  Beautiful 😊. 

Praying that you have been blessed and continue to walk in the grace that God has freely given you. May His goodness and mercy follow you all the days of your life.